


they live in your mind

by lyricallyharley



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricallyharley/pseuds/lyricallyharley
Summary: phil feels overwhelmed when he wakes up from a nightmare
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	they live in your mind

**Author's Note:**

> based on bad dreams by faouzia
> 
> prompt: breathe

_ Darling, I've been having dark dreams _

_ They come home to haunt me _

_ I can't seem to let them go _

Tears are streaming down his face, his cheeks red and his brown eyes full of pain. He looks like he’s hurting, like he’s been betrayed.

Phil can’t understand why.

He reaches out to him but this only causes him to step back, a horrified expression on his face. He wants to call his name, but his throat is tight with worry, so much so that it hurts to swallow.

“I love you.” Dan chokes out. “I thought you loved me too.”

The words are a hammer to his heart. He doesn’t know how, but he’s hurt Dan somehow.

Dan doesn’t give Phil time to respond. He turns and runs.

Phil wastes no time, immediately chasing after him. Dan seems to be faster, but he can't leave. Phil won't let him disappear.

His lungs are aching and his breathing is shallow. He's not the most athletic person in the world, but he definitely should not be worn out already.

Phil can feel the weight of his body pulling him to his knees, his energy gone as he gives in and sinks to the ground.

Blinking a few times, his surroundings are unclear. His vision is hazy, but he can see a street corner of some kind. He can’t make out the words on the buildings or the signs on the street, nor can he remember why he’s even running. 

It’s like his world is all one gigantic, radial blur, and just trying to understand it is making him dizzy. Everything in sight fades into the background when he tries to focus on it.

Everything, except for the people.

_ Glances, all I see are glances _

_ Left and right, they like it _

_ When they know I'm anxious _

They have no distinct facial features, they’re just generic, faceless pedestrians. They’re all looking at him. Some pointing, some mumbling, some giggling and muttering insults under their breath that Phil definitely should not have been able to hear. 

Just another aspect of this world defying the rules of physics.

_ Shadows, all I see are shadows _

_ Hiding where the wind blows _

He pushes himself to his feet, and he’s running again. He doesn’t know why, except that he has to. He has to get away from these people, away from the judgements. 

_ Run, run, run, run _

Suddenly, the world stops.

Phil stops, looking around at the now still, desaturated world. Stuck in time. 

Then, looking down, all he sees is darkness. 

It falls over him and consumes this nightmare world until it’s nothing, and Phil is met with the void below.

His stomach lurches, and he falls. 

He falls deeper and deeper until he can’t bear to keep his eyes open anymore. When he closes them, all he can see is teary brown eyes. All he can hear is snickering. All he can feel is the dark abyss swallowing him whole.

-

_ I'm tired but I can't sleep _

_ Cause they're waiting for me _

It's not the first time this has happened.

And it certainly won't be the last.

He wants to cry. He's not exactly sure  _ why  _ he wants to. He's a grown adult, after all. 

Dan barely moves a muscle next to him, limbs twisted in the bedsheets, hogging them. Phil has no mind to attempt waking him. All he can think about his dream, and the panic that quickly takes control.

_ Darling, this is getting scary _

_ Why can't I stop shaking? _

His chest is tight. His attempts to control his breathing are futile. It's painful, almost. He'd scream if Dan weren't asleep.

Tears gather in his eyes as he grips the edge of the blanket. He lets go of his efforts to control himself and squeezes his eyes shut.

It was just a dream. Nothing more.

That’s when he feels a hand on his back, the contact making him jump at first. He lets out a shivering breath when he realizes that it’s just Dan, who he probably woke up with his panicking.

God, now he feels even more guilty. 

The skin on skin contact is comforting, especially when Dan wraps his arms around his waist and rests his head on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, just breathe." Phil hears his soft morning voice from behind him. 

He tries to say 'thank you', but it comes out in a squeak. His breathing falters and Dan's arms wrap tighter.

"I've got you, you're okay." He says. "I'm right here."

_ They will follow me till I can't breathe _

_ And I'm begging for mercy _

That's all it takes for Phil to let himself cry. 

Dan is warm. He always is, but Phil is hyper-aware of his touch, and he can't help but let go of the blanket in order to squeeze Dan's hand.

"Shh, it's alright." He says. "Just breathe with me."

Dan starts counting then. He whispers each number under his breath, inhaling as he does so. He slowly counts up to four, and then exhales as he counts back to zero. 

Phil follows him, focusing on the calming sound of his voice as he slows his breathing. 

"Are you okay?" Phil manages.

"Of course."

Dan's eyes worriedly scan his face, his question visibly dying on his tongue as his lips falter. He knows.

"Bad dream, huh?" 

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

Phil shakes his head. "Later."

_ These bad dreams are more than true _

"Hey, you know what sounds really nice?" Dan hums, after a few minutes of silence. 

He runs his warm hands up and down Phil's chest, as if he were trying to transfer his body heat to him. He's still cold, but Phil sighs at the touch. 

"What's that?" He whispers.

Dan's movements freeze.

"A morning bath bomb."

Phil nods. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Dan helps him up by grabbing hold of his arm and Phil lets him lead the way. 

Right now he just wants to let his body rest. The idea of Dan holding him in his arms as they puzzle themselves in the bath sounds perfect. 

They'll relax now, and he can tell Dan about his dreams when he's feeling better. They're just bad dreams, after all. They can't hurt him. 

Phil weakly pulls Dan into a hug and buries his face in his neck.

"I love you." He whispers. He knows Dan noticed the way his voice shook, but he holds him tighter nonetheless. "I love you so much."

Dan just hums in agreement, bringing his hands up to cradle Phil's cheeks as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

"I love you too." He says. "Now come on, the candle stash is calling our names."

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr! @squishdaniel (yes I changed my url again I'm sorry)


End file.
